I did it

I did it... I finally did it.. 10km in 1hr on the treadmill today.. It was just sensational.. after 5.5km I felt no pain.. my breathing wasn't strained at all.. and there I knew it.. I hit the wall.. the point when your adrenaline stimulates Beta-Endorphin release.. its like giving your neurons marijuana (yes Endorphins and Weed/Marijuana/Bong/Ganja etc.. belong in the same category of chemicals called cannabinoids) The feeling- painlessly.. euphoria.. the runner's high.. Hitting the wall.. your muscles switch from glycolytic to fat burning... Just the feeling of sweat dripping off my face.. and each step running towards the finish line..

To all druggies out there- you guys are dumb.. this's cheaper than doin weed and healthier than weed.. I wanna get high again :P.. maybe tomorrow :)

Ps. To Jason Lau- This's non emo rite? Based on your differential calculation thingy :P

To Jon Lai- Ok FINE- you DID IT.. Ok la you INSPIRE me too.. gosh sounds so ghey.. haha

Kaput laptop fan

SCHEISSE! Mein Laptop Fan ist Kaput!! Verdammte Scheisse!

Sia Lah brudder!

I have an itch to blog something today but due to a malignantly impaired sense of creativity, and Jason and Jon Lai saying I'm emo.. which I'm not...

I kicked a motorbike at soccer yesterday.. and my ankle's swollen.. it would've passed for the Melbourne Comedy Fest if not for the excrutiating pain.. I mean it was at Princes Park.. a large turf of EMPTY FIELD.. where by people live out their weekend Ronaldos.. I was one of them.. Playing at the wings I managed to kick pass one dude so I sprinted to catch it.. but alas I kicked too hard and it went out.. I went to pick it up.. me in my immaculate desire to look fashionable on the field decided to do a rainbow with the ball.. and guess what- while my eyes were fixed on the ball coming from above, I didn't see the motorbike that a Malay guy parked ( it was a game with lotsa M'sian Malays..good game).. so as the ball came down I attempted to volley a pass.. well I missed and kicked the bike with my foot.. The funny thing was, whilst everyone was laughing at me, I kept laughing too.. I couldn't believe it! it was almost like some SERIOUSLY RANDOM slapstick comedy from like Naked Gun or Police Academy.. like when some dudes are playing baseball and like a RANDOM car drives into the field and runs a player over. Well I kicked a RANDOM bike.. SIAH LAH BRUDDER!

My big cuz- YES HE WAS REALLY BIG.. 100+kg before is now 70+.. without liposuction at all.. and he's intending to join the marathon.. I'm inspired by him.. Training's not going to be easy.. he said: on 1, 3, 5 15km 2,4,6 and 7 REST.. Just as I was getting comfy with 5km runs, he pushes the bar higher..

I gotta do something about it.. he's inspirational to me.. Its sad to hear when parents say about their obese kids "Thats just the way they're made" it almost sounds like a slack excuse for incompetence. My cuz weighed within 1 decimal place of a metric ton- and he worked his way to a 70+kg mass without any external aid- it talks about will and not physical capability.. I aspire to be like him.

Someone once told me it was a 70-30 game.. its just 70% mental and 30% physical.. once you conquer the mental, you've already won 70% of the game.. the rest is up to your physical training.

I hope to join the half marathon at the end of the year. 21km out in the humid Singapore weather. I wish my old classmates and schoolmates could be there.. I still feel the welts from my sec. school day being teased about my adiposity (aka. fatness.. if that helps.. but in a more professional manner) by them.. but 5 years later... today, things are different..

Jon Lai could do it, my cousin Wen Jie showed me that its not about the size, its all in the mind. I'll join the half marathon at the end of the year.. not to prove others wrong.. but to prove to myself that I can achieve when I put my mind to it. Watchout guys.. you'll be eating dust from a fatboy's shoes soon!

Ok you cant say that's emo.. i mean its at the very most- just very inspirational but EMO IS NOT! Anyway.. yarhh happy days to all :)

The Banana Packer

Went for Pathology class today.. and we were learning about immunological tolerance- why your immune system doesn't turn against you and kills you.. but occasionally things do go haywire and u get autoimmune disease.

And our dear "Farmer John" (yes he lectures us, does research and runs a farm at the same time) told us a story about a banana packer. His name is Niels Jerne..

Niels Jerne was abt 30-40 yrs old and worked as a banana packer in his dad's banana company. Then one day he decided that he should go to uni and get a degree. So he went off to uni to study- but goofed around and got kicked out of university. He went back to banana packing. Whilst packing bananas, he felt sick and tired of it- and wanted to go to uni again. His dad thought- 'oh he only got kicked out once.. just let him try again'. And so he went to uni again. This time, he found the love of his life there at uni- and because girls = time + money,~ladeedaadeedaa~.... he mucked up and got kicked out of uni again. Went back to banana packing. After awhile packing bananas, he felt that he wanted to try for uni again. That time, business was good for his dad's company- so it was ok to spend on uni again. This time he went to uni and he did very well- couple of years later, he won the Nobel Prize for the Clonal Anergy Theory in Immunology..

He was a simple banana packer and a mature age student with so many odds stacked against him.. yet he tried.. only on his 3rd try did he make it and he finally became someone great- from a simple banana packer to a Nobel Laureate. A very inspiring story of a scientist. Whilst scientists will never be rich, totally respected or seen as heroes of the society, they continue to work for the greater good of mankind. Life's not about finding yourself.. its about creating yourself.. writing your pages in the storybook of your life. I must awaken to this.. and write mine. :)

In Me

"When I'm weak, You make me strong.. when I'm blind You shine your light upon me.. cos I know I'll never get by living by my own ability.."

- 'In Me' by Casting Crowns

I stand on the brink of my first day of school.. whilst its a 8am class and the prospect of having insanely and unethically early classes in the morning is just daunting. The first day of school in the new semester. Definitely tougher than before.. and I just want to hold on to knowing that my human flesh is just so weak and fragile... and that success is never ever is it by my human strength.. but by God thru me..

Its about time I got my life straightened out.. a time for a man to kneel before a God he has come to trust.. because when he is on his knees, he is less likely to fall than trying to stand on his own 2 feet. A time to repent from sin.. a time to embrace love.. a time to remember that whatever I have comes from above..

And above all.. to be a blessing to others.. God give me strength, courage and love..

Courage, strength and love for my friends and for my daily living.

Let me remember that I seek no greater glory or honour.. than for my God..

Let me remember to love others even tho they may hurt me..

Let me remember that leading is kneeling to wash others feet just as Jesus did..

Let me remember to put others before myself..

I'm excited for school tomorrow.. a brand new start and my final lap! Wonder what the weather will be like tomorrow? What will I eat for lunch tomorrow?- maybe Saigon noodles if I can beat the lunchtime queue.. highly unlikely tho.. What will Dr Nick Williamson (who CLAIMS to live on level 2 of Bio21 Institute) tell me? Will I be able to take up "Farmer John's"(Dr John Underwood) offer for a paid job? Will I make new friends? Well whichever way it is.. I just look forward to it :) Pray for me guys.. I'll need every bit of prayer I can get.

Astrocyte

Astrocytes(green) surrounding neurons(blue) within the brain...

The circuitry of the whole human body epitomized by these simple cells.. billions of them form networks that allow signals to be transmitted within the body-running on mere milivolts, it brings power to the whole human body..

such intricacy of the human biology.. how can anyone say that there is no God?

Tumour Necrosis Factor-Alpha (TNF-a), an inflammatory cytokine secreted by Antigen Presenting Cells(APCs) to kill virus infected cells as well as initiate CD4+ T helper 1 responses- illiciting cell mediated cytotoxicity via Natural Killer (NK)cells as well as CD8+ T Cytotoxic cells also Plasma B cell Immunoglobulin production.

Another beautiful molecule.. an art of human biology.. created by God..

Fun with Pymol

Just abit of fun with Pymol.. This's a rendered version of Transforming Growth Factor-Beta (TGF-B) an anti-inflammatory cytokine

Days

This is most annoying.. I spent 1 whole holiday sitting on my ass.. waiting for my attachment to commence.. and guess what.. cell culture failure.. everything's pushed back.. I'm just sitting and waiting for action.. but action'll only come for 1-2 days.. doin the stuff that WE USUALLY DO IN THE LAB.. Immunohistochemistry.. HOW ANNOYING! Its been really frustrating.. just sitting and waiting for my Lecturer to tell me when to start.. seriously frus! I've cancelled my plans to go skiing tis hols just for my attachment and now its been all in vain.. it has been said before- you rush to wait and you wait to rush.. but guess what.. I've been waiting and waiting and nothing has been happening! I've hoped that I could learn and experience real first hand cancer research.. but alas.. all has been in vain..

I guess I should just be thankful that I've had a good holiday.. and lots of time to spend with friends.. especially sticking with the OCFers better- the countless nights we played mariokart together, the countless meals we had together, the countless laughs we had together.. I guess it was worth it.. sigh.. school's starting again.. its the last lap of my undergraduate years.. I feel kinda jittery about it.. what will it be like? how will I do? Just today I went to uni and it was orientation week... so many bright, fresh and eager faces in the surreal cloudless winter sunshine.. a wry grin found my lips.. I was just thinking how I was once like them.. happy, eager, excited and full of energy.. 3 years later.. what has changed? prolly size wise, perhaps a slight tinge of academic weariness, more mellow and experienced in the ways of beating the lunchtime queue at saigon noodles.. silently I wished each one of the smiling excited faces well.. that their days may evermore be filled with an abundance of laughter, excitement and energy.. because they'll need it..

As for me.. the dusk of my undergraduate days approaches.. the impending sunset for yet another chapter of my life.. as I walk the way to the finish line.. I want to take with me, more than a degree- but memories of the times good and bad, laughter and tears.. days where I ate my lunch with friends on lush green lawns.. days where I mugged in the bowels of the Law library.. beside the same brave few.. the H1s and the Ps.. All these memories..have tilled my path from 1st yr to 3rd.. and I am grateful to partake of such times.

The last lap and the end is in sight.. God give me strength to finish this race well.. and also to endear myself to the friends that've always stood by my side.. and to cherish these memories to eternity..

Strength in silence

Many times I do think that its better to be silent than to say something.. Infact I believe that I should just be silent sometimes rather than speak out. I see that sometimes saying things- even if ur just adding to the fun can be very annoying- I envisage that to be true to myself also.

I guess knowing what to say and when to say it is more important than actually saying it. Having said this, I have not experience any severe repercussions from this. But I do extrapolate that if I do change, things might be better- if each word were a bullet, it would be making each shot count- and not just flagrantly throwing words at people. As far as I pray that my words are like honey to many... and when it comes down to being responsible, that I'll have the courage to speak the honest truth even if it means hurt. It just happened when I looked upon the changing dynamics of friend interactions in a social context of a group. Often we have fun laughing at each other.. yet sometimes.. even in recent light I feel hesitant to speak even if I have a joke to crack. I haven't a clue what catalyzed me to feel that way- but i just feel it.

Maybe its my view on freedom of speech- being frustrated at many who clamour to that idea and are viciously political about it. I am particularly disgruntled at those who shake their fists at governments calling for freedom of speech and those that say whatever they want flagrantly- because they claim its their right. Most certainly freedom of speech/expression is imperative in order for progress in a society. But does everyone express their freedom of speech responsibly? In overtly liberal societies, it seems that this is tearing society apart- dividing people- protesters taking to streets blocking and disrupting the pace of life- why? for attention sake? is it really for change? the damage they're causing is more than any PROSPECTIVE good that they can promise with their actions. How can a society progress as such?

Yes your freedom of speech is a birthright...but restraint is a mark of maturity..

Thus I feel that the evolution of social problems can be attributed in part to this- irresponsibility of speech. Not only restricted to the context of speech but in terms of expression of self. Crumbling moral standards- disrespect for others (even within the nuclear family group which is the basic building block of society) as well as a shocking disregard and insubordination to authority- now wouldn't that be anarchy? The right to expression is often misused often for selfish reasons- " I say whatever I damm well please because I have the damm right to freedom of speech" has anyone ever thought above themselves?

But who's to blame.. society is warped already.. who can define what is a STANDARD "The greater good" for a society?- because we have the freedom to believe in whatever we want to. Thus everyone has diffent perspectives and thus no social uniformity. As such, I percieve in a social context and setting, there can never be a utopia. I strongly believe that everyone is entitled to the freedom of speech. BUT before everyone can exercise their birthright- it is IMPERATIVE to learn how to be responsible for each word. To accord each word with respect and exercise their freedom with much responsibility. NOW with that said, with responsible expression, can a society- though divided in opinions, unite thru mutual respect. Respect for self, Respect for others, Respect and submission to authority.

It isn't difficult to change the world you know.. you don't have to be a great politician to do that. Responsibility begins with self and I believe I can change the world just by taking this small step. Responsibility begins with me.

The 3 Word Phrase

The 3 Word Phrase

Almost a year since I last saw it

Written on paper to my eyes

A year since I last heard it

Spoken to my very own ears

In my heart I hold it

With emotion- elation and sighs

Traversing in time I felt it

With many smiles and tears

The phrase, the taste of it

Precipitates a sensation bittersweet

That, so desirable- to seek it

Alas, sadly so very elusive

The phrase, the moment you hear it

your heart skips a beat

All you ever want for it

Is to be whispered to you so exclusive

A lonely heart longs for it

Awaiting that sweet serendepitous moment

Once again, to hear it

Just 3 words, sincere and true

Hope endures for it

That it will come in a future not so distant

That it will stay forever-thats it:

the 3 word phrase _ ____ ___...

By Ken Chin (1987- whenever)

ps. It shouldn't be that difficult to figure it out..

Post camp

Camp was totally fun! Thank God that everything went so smoothly.. and learnt so much! I really felt that I bonded closer to the other OCFers! I don't know why I still cant upload photos on blogger!! RAWR!

Anyway.. yarh.. starting work at the Ludwig Institute for Cancer Research (LICR) at Austin Hospital- Heidelberg which is donkey kong kilometers out of town.. but well.. think of those dying from cancer.. think of my grandma whom I saw suffering from colorectal cancer before my eyes... this stint at LICR will most probably never yield any revolutionary changes to cancer therapy.. its just discovering new cancer markers.. but.. at least its something worthy and honourable to undertake in the hope that whatever little I contribute will benefit research in ameliorating the pain and suffering of the cancer stricken..

As I've said to many- the worst thing about cancer isn't death-it is the fact that it kills u so slowly.. death is the ultimate release from cancer.. a heart attack shys in comparison of suffering.. at least it kills u that instant.. u die within minutes.. cancer kills u in years.. whilst striping away ur biological functions SLOWLY.. worst.. 1 in 3 will die from it..

Though this be my holiday, I think its important that I undertake this.. to learn more and also in memory and dedication to my beloved grandmother who I dedicate my best efforts to.