Mission Accomplished

Honours + full marathon accomplished as of 7th Dec '08, the 2 things I want to achieve before 21,

accomplished :)

It is Finished

After 5 years, I am done.. I am now a Bsc. Hons. and I have a 2 year (1 yr 10mths) haiatus to think about the future.. but whichever way it is.. there's only one way- higher and further; that is the essence of progress.

"Success isn't final, Failure isn't fatal- its the ability to carry on that counts"

I wonder what the medical science scene will be like in 2 years time.

Record

10km in 50:22

new record

Its scary how the marathon's coming up so fast, best to keep up with the training schedule- due dilligence

Monday

The 3 best answers to explain experimental anomalies in thesis defence:

1. The activation of the Large Hadron Collider messed with my Results

2. The +ve Chi values were not normalised for the fengshui of the incubator

3. My mom said so

Standing at the end of my uni obligations, I begin to wonder what could await me.. A sense of relief for me.. I feel this strange feeling that I look forward to begining NS- its as if I get to start a brand new chapter/phase of life.

I look forward to serving my duty to my country, it is about time

But before I do that, the tired honours student must sleep.. Goodnight all..

Ionised

Radiation Biology can be addictive when you start to get technical.. :)

From Poison to Antidote

Consider these 2 examples:

Cyclophosphmide was a WWII developed from a chemical weapon, commonly known as mustard gas.. today, it is a standard use chemotherapeutic drug for most cancers.

Atropine, a poison famous in the ancient world from the Deadly Nightshade (Belladona atropa).. is used today as an antidote to organophosphate (nerve gas) poisoning and for the treatment of ocular pathologies such as glaucoma.

It brings a new dimension to "poison" and "cure".. its as if saying in terms of pharmacology- there's no drug or compound that is absolutely good or absolutely bad.. it is the dose and the concentration determines whether the outcome is physiologically favourable or not. Effectively dismissing the assignment of poison and cure (probably too much moral baggage to put onto molecules).. and saying that it is all relative. An overdose of cyclophosphamide is probably just like mustard gas poisoning, it will kill. An overdose of atropine, and you will probably die convulsing to death.. so the right dose and right usage can potentially make it a cure..

Doesn it make u think about how we can then use other things we call "poisons" as potential therapeutics? we just need to figure out how to and how much..

Storm

Sweat falls like a spring squall

Hurricane force gusts thru the lungs

Veins like lightning, mark the limbs

The deep rumble of blood coursing the vessels

A distant thunderstorm in the mind

As feet bear the frame swiftly...and relentlessly

Hiatus

My aching body tells me that my hiatus from running has been way too long..

Patched up with muscle relaxant.. its a grave warning to get disciplined and back into the regimen..

I think chemotherapeutic regimens have witty names like CHOP (Cyclophosphamide, Hydroxydaunorubicin (Adriamycin), Oncovin (Vinblastine), Prednisolone) and MOPP (Mechlorethamine, Oncovin (Vinblastine), Procarbazine, Prednisolone).. so u CHOP and u MOPP cancer away.. witty..

E=mc^2

The Energy-Maggi Equivalence Equation
Kenneth F.W. Chin 2008

E= mc^2

Where,

E = energy

m = maggi noodles

c = Coffee

The equation states that the energy of a given system (usually an honours student with thesis due) can be defined as and is equivalent to the quanta of maggi noodles consumed, multiplied by the square of the amount of coffee taken- ASSUMING, 1. Equivalence in value of different flavours of Maggi and 2. Coffee measured by 1 standard latte unit.

This can also be equated to a second formula which can measure the kinetic energy (K.E) at which the thesis can be hurled by a frustrated honours student.

E (K.E) = 0.5mv^2

Where,

E = energy

m = maggi noodles

v = V energy drink

With this, it can then be equated that:

mc^2 = 0.5mv^2

2mc^2 = mv^2

2c^2 = v^2

V^2= (2C )^0.5

V = 1.41C

Thus by reducing the equations, we are able to conclude that V energy drink is able to influence the total student energy to a greater extent (by 41%) as compared to 1 standard latte unit of coffee.

The Final Countdown

Here's a Riddle for you... Find the answer...

4 days left to thesis due.. molecules flying around my mind.. they say if u really get a mental block and can't continue writing your thesis.. write the acknowledgments page.. if not start writing your eulogy.. So many questions.. even more answers.. in 10000 words, 30 pages..

We.. I think I'd get stuck writing my acknowledgements page.. there're too many people to thank.. and my Eulogy would be very simple: " Oh Shit "

Anyway.. a successor to Benny Lava's Funny Indian Translation.. gotta watch this..
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=mvDnfCZhiCY

1 in 3 people die of cancer.. 1 in the remainding 2 probably will die of heart attack.. the last one of diabetes..and to spend so much on R&D to develope anti-cancer drugs just to extend survival for a few years.. can you really put a price on human life? Companies like Novartis develope blockbuster drugs like their famed Gleevec/STI-571 (Imatinib mesylate), a protein kinase inhibitor which cost more expensive than one's funeral.. can only suppress Chronic Myeloid Leukaemia (CML) as long as you keep taking the drug.. when you stop it comes back.. or worse, the cancer simply develops resistance to it by mutating 1 amino acid to prevent drug from binding... well.. so much for the slogan of big pharmas which sing the tune of "Improving the quality of human lives thru research".. they should have a caveat "only if you can afford it"..

As for the economic crisis.. I dont think it'll affect research.. people will always be dying of cancer..

I'm just rambling.. back to writing thesis..

Team MACrophages

The Peter Mac MACrophages..

Be One

Be one with your thesis.. *ommmmmmm*....

ironic

Ironic feeling.. as simple mathematics comes back to bite me in the ass with data analysis- took 15 min to try to convert (u= micro) 0.1uM, ie. 0.1 umol/L into umol/uL.. which I figured out to be 1.0 x 10^-7 umol/uL.. well there goes 15min of my thesis writing life.. more to come..

But I admit.. it has a kinda sex appeal to be able to say- based on this, we know there's X mol of drug in the cell, Y mol is in the nucleus.. and that is = Z number of molecules floating around..

Had a good thesis writing mojo today..

Realised that the acronyms for Centre for Molecular Imaging spells CMI....

Signed by a Nobel Prize Laureate

I had the priviledge of having my first article,

Signed by Nobel Prize Laureate, Dr Peter Doherty

And he said to me: "Well done Kenneth, Keep writing" :)

Props to Tongzhimen "Comrade" Erika Duan who also published her article in The Triple Helix 2nd Ed.

Thesis

They say to write your thesis:

"Your abstract is poetry and the body; prose"

I was thinking how to better phrase: " %#$^&*%)(6##!!!!!!!! "

I think

I think I stress out too much.. just going to let go and let God:
Cos I can't do anything with my own strength.

I think that if I desire success and progress that much, I must learn to meet with failure:
Success's not a destination, its a journey..

I think my parents have sacrificed heaps for me to go this far:
If they didn't send me here, they would probably be living in luxury.

I think that I should balance out striving for tomorrow, with living and enjoying today:
Because yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery and it may never come; today's a gift

I think competition taints the fascination for science:
But so does politics.. because we exist with others..

I think I should do things everyday that make me smile more:
Positivity and hope keeps people going

I think queing up 1+ hour just for a bowl of Bak Chor Mee was worth it:
Got a bowl of ice kachang and Chendol from Kat while the wait (I let her cut queue for Sg day)

I think the Government/'Gah-men' wants us to come back to Singapore to reside and work:
I am impartial, I have to serve NS anyway..

I think Honours year is one incredible female canine-donkey (cannot say bad words) of a year:
But I have learnt so much from it and I will make it thru.

I think... that I think too much..

Start Doing!

Pretty Pictures

The wonders of using a Leica Inverted Fluorescence Microscope.. DIC-DAPI filter merge image

Weekends a the lab

One of the perks about weekends at the lab is no one is queing up to use any equipment, no one will bother you, you can do heaps of experiments.. and.. you can play with dry ice with your supervisor.. Amongst a few completed experiments, I've also achieved the "Entrance of the Greek God" effect for Tom.. which is supposedly for him to appear at important meetings.. Fun :)

Somebody give me a holiday,

I am suffering from Severe Induced Academic Neuropsychosis (SIAN)..

There Can Be Miracles....

.... When you believe...

Its strange how thoughts can persitently deny a fatigued mind of sleep- despite a soft fluffy quilt and a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon gulped in 1 breath.. caught in a kind of limbo-quagmire situation and I asked for a sleep.. and a sign.. and it was given... the serendipity of a simple mention over dinner conversation... setting up a catalytic reaction of phone calls- and my prayers are answered... it is incredibly relieving and uplifting.. Thank and praise God..

Don't worry (esp. to the kay-poh people).. the situation isn't pertaining to girls or BGR..

Publication Worthy

Blister

Completed my run today and just as I took a step onto the cold kitchen floor, I felt a sharp sting on my foot. I lifted it up to see that the raw skin from a blister was bleeding thru.. nevermind, I rewarded myself with a piece of sherry marinated steak which I wolfed down heartily.

Checked out the Protein:Carbohydrate:Fat calculator at www.aussiebodies.com.au for advice on how to work out smarter. Spoke to the GNC nutritionist last week for advice (on the pretext of looking for protein shakes- which i am not a believer in; just a conversation starter to get free advice..) I gave a brief description of my predicament- my main goal is to reduce body fat in order to increase strength to weight ratio and enhanced running performance (simple physics: lighter you are, easier it is to run further and faster).. and it doesn't seem to be working at all despite reduced food intake and increased exercise- the only day when I didnt do any form of exercise was friday. The response that I got was logical- not eating well enough- I'm wearing my body out without providing enough nutrient- especially proteins to repair the muscle. Lesser muscle= lesser fat burning capability (since muscle burns fat.. well lean muscle..). When the body is starving, it will eat into its own source of protein for energy- that is muscle. This means I'm effectively eating myself alive. EUREKA! thanks and no thanks for the protein powder. Men's Health states that drinking Skim milk is just as good as taking such stuff- and ounce to ounce of protein, Skim milk is 20-30 times cheaper. Switching from 3 main meals to 6 small meals is really tough- though friday dinner and sunday lunch I give myself a break and allow rice for those meals. Anyway.. www.aussiebodies.com.au is really great help- planning exercise, weekly diet.. working hard is important too.. so is working smart.. exercise and healthy diet must come hand in hand.

Anyway..

Feeling a mixed feeling of disheart'nment laced with mild dissent... It sounds wierd- but I do really long to hear encouraging words spoken to me; this week has been with alot of negativity- getting told off about my flight ticket, contaminating pipettes with radiation.. etc.. it isn't a great detriment.. but sometimes when the source comes from parents, out of respect, you can't just mentally type '/ignore'. In tying times, the last thing you need is nagging. A simple "you can do it" or "you're doing a great job" would actually suffice..

Over breakfast I was reading thru an old edition of Men's Health (Sg Edition) an there was an interview with a commando officer. In a parachute jump overseas, his parachute tangled and he managed to untangle it and had almost crashed into the ground- he crashed into a tree instead. Despite suffering concussion to the head and shin injury, he carried on his mission.

"As a mission commander, my primary focus was on my mission. There will always be distractions in your life, so you got to work around them, no matter how bad they are"

It made sense.. maybe all these things are distractions. My mission is to live the love for science and ace it- its not about the H1, its about being the very best that I can be. I would have crashed into many trees.. maybe even crashed into the whole amazon forest.. but I must still carry out my mission and accomplish it. Negative things from others I have to shut out and fill my mind with the positive.. as well as surround myself with positive people. These words enlighten me to what I should do.

I hope with whatever I'm doing, my parents are at least an ounce proud of me and are consoled that their investment and funding me have reaped benfits.

Presentation

The Faculty of Pharmacy and Pharmaceutical Sciences 3rd Annual Postgraduate Research Symposium - Wednesday 1st October, 2008 –
Day Schedule

10:15am
Associate Professor David Taylor to introduce student presentations

10:15am
Phillip Bergen, PhD candidate, Pharmacy Practice
Pharmacokinetic (PK)/Pharmacodynamic (PD) Investigation of Colistin (C) against Pseudomonas aeruginosa (Pa) using an in vitro Model

10:30am
Sarah Ellis, PhD candidate, Pathology, Peter MacCallum
The role of the vasculature in the hemopoietic stem cell niche

10:45 – 11:10am Morning Tea
Venue: Cossar Hall

11.10am
Greg Weeks, PhD candidate, Pharmacy Practice

11:25am
Admire Dube, PhD candidate, Pharmaceutics, Drug Delivery.
Bioadhesive polymeric nanoparticle delivery systems for mucosal delivery of catechin antioxidants

11:40am
Gemma Ferguson, PhD candidate, Medicinal Chemistry

11:55am
Nimali Withana, PhD candidate, Pathology, Peter MacCallum
Contribution of tumour and stromal cysteine cathepsins to breast cancer metastasis

12:10pm
Hollie Pegram, PhD candidate, Pathology, Peter MacCallum
Gene Modified Natural Killer Cells for Cancer Immunotherapy

12:25pm –1:45pm Poster session / and lunch Venue: Cossar Hall

Afternoon Session Venue: Lecture Theatre 1

1:45pm
Welcome and introduction of 2nd plenary speaker by Associate Professor David Taylor,

Associate Dean of Research Training
1:50pm
Professor Peter Colman (Walter and Eliza Hall Institute ‘Relenza Revisited')

2:20pm
Associate Professor David Taylor to introduce student presentations

2:20pm
Vijay Urmaliya, PhD candidate, Pharmaceutical Biology
Cardioprotection via adenosine A1 receptor agonists in a cardiac cell ischemia model involves a cooperative effect of endogenous adenosine via adenosine A2A and A2B receptors

2:35pm
Kenneth Chin, Honours candidate, Biochemistry and Molecular Biology, Peter MacCallum
Seek and Destroy: DNA-targeted Auger Radiotherapy

2:50pm
Shanna Tam, PhD candidate, Medicine, St. Vincent’s Hospital
Osteoclast formation and osteolysis are promoted by the AMP-activated protein kinase (AMPK) activator aminoimidazole-4-carboxamide ribonucleoside (AICAR) in vivo

3:05pm – 3:15pm Afternoon Break

3:15pm
Adliah Mhd Ali, PhD candidate, Pharmacy Practice
Development and Validation of Competency Standards for Prescribing by Pharmacists
in Australia

3:30pm
Rachel Carter, PhD candidate, Pathology, Peter MacCallum
Regulation of Metastasis to Bone by β3 integrin

3:45pm
Jo-Anne Pinson, PhD candidate, Medicinal Chemistry
PI3-Kinase and inhibitors: Thiazolidinediones for targeting isoform selectivity

4:00pm
Christian Nefzger - Department of Pharmaceutical Biology

4:10pm - 5:15pm Final brief poster session, refreshments served
Venue: Cossar Hall Presentations of prizes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm the most junior amongst all of them.. a young buck in the game.. the only honours student amongst PhD students giving a presentation.. strangely, I feel a sense of happiness surrounding the daunting task in the presence of senior, experienced scientists- I'll be presenting my work amongst friends.. and the majority of them from the PeterMac I know.. one at St Vincent's I am guilty of kicking the ball into her face at Inter-dept. soccer. Thank God for this priviledge and I will put in my best efforts and make my presentation worthy to be presented amongst PhD students. Well.. back to work, and into the fight..

Treadmill..

Dammit all the treadmills in College Square are down... DAMMIT... this can't be happening.. Oh well.. Interdepartment Soccer tomorrow.. MACrophages vs. St. Vincents Hospital team... something to look forward to..

Smashing!

Its 2348hrs AEST now and I think ok to say we're safe- almost 7hrs after the first protons were smashed in the new Large Hadron Collider.. the threat of creating a black hole and destroying the earth was just another bit of science fiction.. its amazing that people would invest so much in such a collosal device to collide something so minute.. amazing because the benefits can't be seen outright- its not like a cure for cancer kinda thing.. yet people still invest in it. Amazing because people haven't developed such technology into weapons.. or at least we hope so..

Its not hard to imagine accelerating heavy particles with supermagnets and smashing them into humans instead of other smaller partices. Human techology has made another great leap forward.. our ancestors started off by manipulating physical environment in order to survive.. in recent light we were able to manipulate our very own human genes.. today, the success of the Large Hadron Collider will very soon enable us to understand and manipulate every subatomic particle.

At the same time.. its scary to think back, remembering that the field of nuclear physics greatly advanced with the introduction of nuclear warfare during the Second World War and the subsequent Cold War.. lets pray that history doesn't repeat itself..

Timoro

.. in Greek, it means 'Punishment or Discipline'... thats what I decided to do on the treadmill today in preparation for participating in the full marathon.. 15km in 1:25:00... it isn't anything commendable compared to Sharman's 30km runs.. infact I do aspire to her standard of discipline..

Felt the dehydration setting in and my lips went numb.. but i just wouldnt give up.. my father's words rang in my head- "you'd better be careful you know, people can collapse in marathons..", well I'd better get cracking and make sure my training prevents me from collapsing.. thoughts of Candice's 22nd birthday party in a conversation with her over-zealous army fanatic brother who is currently studying a Masters in Counter-Terrorism in Monash " you will learn phrases like 'Pain is temporary, pride/glory is forever' " only to hear in my mind "pride and glory? rubbish- you'd better thank God you're actually still alive breathing.." ..so why continue running? Because it keeps me focused and disciplined mentally.. because everyday I get stronger.. I can't take it being stagnant and sitting on my ass- and I've gotta put in the hard work to make the difference..

Anyway I've rewarded myself by returning home to 2 sherry marinated lean pork loins garnished with alittle greek seasoning and 2 glasses of low fat milk- calcium for the bones and protein to repair worn out muscle.. the last bit is now.. sleep to rest the tired mind.

Black and White

Black and White- the new range of experimental decadent deserts from Kenchin's Culinary Laboratory

Hunger

Another past 12am finish at the lab today.. and without sleep from the previous night.. feeling tired but more hungry than anything.. despite not having dinner till now.. even 2 lean pork chops and 2 eggs is more than enough.. I could've (should've?) done without but decided its good to have some protein.. tired but not going to give up until I grasp victory..

Blue

Crystal Violet dye in a shade of blue- even scientists have a sense of aesthetics

Hot Data

Eureka! I've got it! my supervisor and I created a commotion in the whole lab, cheering once we opened the PDF of the data analysis that showed the graph.. untill the big boss came by to see what was going on.. handed him a piece of paper with just 1 graph on it.. and he had a smile on his face.. the first of our radioactive cell kill experiments have succeeded! and the data obtained is just IMMACULATE.. the graph fitted beautifully to the points.. as small as it was, it was a moment to rejoice and savour..

My supervisor took one copy, stamped it "Recieved 18/8/08" and asked me to autograph it.. so that we can remember this day.. thru many trials and tribulations, and tho we've sowed in tears and often frustration.. we are begining to see the harvest ripen.. bearing fruits of success.. this week promises to be an exciting one..

Inter-department soccer on thursday.. a high speed sport with science geeks.. but after revenge on Dept of Genetics 2-1, the Biochem team feels like they can take on the rest of the Faculty of Science.. it'll be a round robin with teams from every department and research institute.. may the best nerd win.. and as decreed by Supervisor, "make sure you score some goals man!"

Get up..

It has been a rather disappointing week.. tho it did end off with a slight bright tick on it.. got more data- one of my experiments showed EXACTLY what we were looking for.. showing the cellular lethality of ultra short ranged radiation. Beautiful...

I figured out that whilst its painful, life is never fair to us at all.. just guess that we have to dust off and get up again.. I was at soccer training today with the kids.. and when one of the kids got taken down by another tackle, his dad at the sidelines called out "GET UP! come on! get up!". It astounded me.. rather than tending to his injured son, he told him to get up and fight back for the ball.. maybe thats what I need.. someone to yell at me to get back right up.. and for me to yell at myself to get up and continue fighting..

People may not reward excellence.. but why do it then? I think I've found the reason:

"We are what we repeatedly do.. and thus, excellence is not an act, but rather a habit"

-Aristotle

So then being immaculate in my work or efforts should be a habit rather than a one off.. it should not be dependent on any condition.

It has been a hard bashing this week.. but slowly and surely I'll get up and fight harder..

Bitter

To finish the Poster for Melbourne Protein Group 2008, I haven't had sleep in 2 days, computer crashed 2x and I had to start again from scratch.. did 3 experiments at 1 go per day in the lab just to keep up.. was in the lab till 12:49am.. just to win the Best Poster award for the MPG conference.. but no, they wouldn't give it to me.. to make it even worse they split the prize up into smaller prizes to give out.. and I still didn't get it..

Bitterness.. I feel it gripping in my heart.. for the first time, I had all intention of swearing aloud.. but I just sucked it in.. they always say "hardwork pays" does it? because if what I did wasn't hard work.. I don't know what else to call it.. its just immense and incredible frustration.. people just can't recognise the amount of blood and tears I've put in to make it immaculate.. on top of my already heavy honours project.. people recognise dilligence and excellence don't they? As I walked out of Bio21 I just couldnt control the tears.. it really gripped my heart that people could either be that blind or that cruel.. the feeling is so sick.. the sacrifices I bore and they're not appreciated or at least recognised by people.. Just feel like yelling out in indignance.. God why have you done this to me? haven't I already suffered enough for the sake of academics? isn't and shouldn't my efforts be rewarded? the past week was hell but I endured it for the vision of winning.. why should I endure anything else if the world is so blind? when effort, determination and excellence is rewarded?

I walked home alone.. returning to an empty apartment.. just to suffer by myself- as if no one hears me.. no one to give me comfort but for me alone to shrug it off.. doesn't anyone understand how much hell I've gone thru for excellence?

Just feeling incredibly bitter and with anger simmering in me... I had to write this out here just to get it out of my system..

Wish I were up in the snow again..

Wanna go back to the snow.. to that peaceful haven high up in the sky.. oh well.. here're the pix from my cam and from Yan Yan's too..

Day @ Falls Creek

Night @ Falls Creek

Need for Speed

Daniel and Friends

Zhi realizes the truth about Skiing.. ITS MUCH BETTER THAN BOARDING!

Timo goes for the backstab

YEAH!!

The Drovers Dream Team!

Winter Sonata (minus leaves and emo scene)

Zhi's feeling warm..

Shar and Esther with the Arabic Princess Barbarella

Drover's Dream Run

Happy 3 Skiiers

The Dudes and Dudettes

Not with Timo again...

Yan dao kia

Snow gets in your eyes...

Kwah si mi?! Ai pah ah?!

Lone Skiier

Like it or Love it? hmm...dunno

Waiting room

Even the best fall down sometimes..

Chi-Gong

That way lies adventure

Board-Board-Ski

Ready to RUMBLE!

The worst idea ever..

eBeh and the 2 Villans

Timo's Reclined Pose

Snooze..
Fruits of the Spirit? but you can have these with chocolate!

Family Dinner

Dinner

A simple meal of balsamic red wine beef casserole, whole meal multi grain bread and salad greens..

Worn out shoes..

Treads worn so smooth I could probably use them for ice skating.. yet they've bore me swiftly with each stride forward.. Yes they've served me well on 2 half marathons.. countless of birthday sabotage escapes.. mornings round princes park, nights on the treadmills.. this's to my pair of beloved Adizeros.. my first pair of racers.. even so.. my racing has just begun.. :)

Eyeing a pair of red+yellow Adizero Breeze or red Adizero Pro+

Its as simple as dPBS -/-

Eureka! I've found it! the simple solution to the problem of my adherent PC3 prostate cancer cells falling off the petri dishes- instead of with 0.9% saline, wash with Dulbecco's Phosphate Buffered Saline (dPBS) without Mg2+/Ca2+! a trial run today proved it to be true.. felt awesome wave of relief- seems like the pH buffering effect prevents the cells from lysing and floating off..

My first cell kill experiment today.. its strange to feel the empowerment.. the power of a ultra-short ranged, focused, anti-cancer nuclear explosives in my hands.. I just want to dynamite those cancer cells away man! I can just imagine in my mind's eye the cancer cells DNA getting decimated, shredded by Auger electrons.. further potentiated by charged particle interactions; couloumbic explosions- Atomic charge repulsions.. just wreaking havoc in the cancer cells... these serve to sterilize, if not kill cancer cells to prevent them from spreading..

On the other hand.. if it was in the blood or on any other part of the body- as long as it didn't go into the nucleus, it is virtually harmless.. Beauty..

The Grace of Flight

Once again my childhood dream enthrals me... the graceful dance in the heavens above.. of deadly aerial combat.. HAWX by Ubisoft is coming out in Fall 2008..

Beautiful...

Someone get me a PS3..

Actually scrub that.. give me my 1st class honours first.. then my PS3

Maybe a future NHMRC research grant will also have budget for PS3 in order to enable productive research and completion of a high quality PhD? i mean its less than $1K rite? even a centrifuge costs more than that.. and all it can do is SPIN.. ok and maybe refrigerate and spin very quickly.. but not very entertaining..

Just as I am

Just as I am, without one plea
But that thy blood was shed for me
And that thou bidd’st me come to thee
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am and waiting not
To rid my soul of one dark blot,
To thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, though tossed about
With many a conflict, many a doubt,
Fightings and fears within, without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am,
thou wilt receive,
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;
Because thy promise I believe,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come

Still feeling the residual pinch of singlehood- I found some comfort in this song.. just as I am, whatever I am.. my God loved me so much to send His son Jesus to bleed on the cross for me..

Alas maybe singlehood is God's way of helping me serve others better.. to share whatever love within my heart with all others.. rather than focus it on one person... to be very frank, I don't really embrace it well.. often I feel its unfair- what have I done to deserve singlehood? I don't smoke, binge drink, curse+swear, behave rowdily.. The fact that over 5 years of being here, changing my dressing, my character, losing 20+kg does not affect my status shows one thing- this isn't within human hands.. yes God you've proven your point..

I must admit that it is disheartening in the sense that being in service to others is tiring.. times when I am compelled to act pre-emptively in order provide relief or aid for others, people don't really treasure effort.. thats alright.. my treasure is in heaven anyway.. but yet in my giving, I've always wished there was someone else to watch my back and support me.. someone whom I can talk to without having to resort to blogging to empty my mind...

I pray that one day, God will bless me with an angel.. and together, continue to serve God to the best of our synergistic abilities. Yes, I realise now.. I've given up with my human efforts.. and I surrender it to God.. God's will be done.. whatever my lot Thou has taught me to say "It is well, It is well with my soul". Still, I pray for patience and comfort for my heart to be still.. and teach me to rely on God's providence.. and how I can better serve others in response to God's love..

Just as I am.. my God loves me..

Marked for Destruction

Just another idea..

Phosphatidyserine is only exposed on the outer membrane of cells undergoing apoptosis (cell suicide) and this functions to signal immune cells to clear out these dead cells. How about tagging cancer cells with such markers for immune cell attack and clearance?

My idea consists of using a targeting moiety such as a monoclonal antibody, to deliver phosphatidylserine coated liposomes onto cancer cells

Upon membrane fusion, Phosphatidylserine will be exposed on the outer leaflet of the tumour cell membrane. This will make the tumour cell appear apoptotic and passing immune cells will recognise it and attempt to clear out the tumour cell.

Immune cells will respond by primarily by phagocytosis- however if phagocytosis fails, immune cells can also use cytotoxic granules to attack the cell. In accompaniment to that, cytokines and chemotactic factors will recruit more immune cells to the vincinity to assist with tumour destruction.

This idea was based on activating and harnessing the specific destructive capability of the immune system to deal with malignant cells rather than rely on conventional chemotherapeutic compounds.

Nevertheless, tumours are always sneaky.. a FOXP3+, Interleukin-10 or Transforming Growth Factor-beta (TGF-b) positive tumour cell can shut down immune system as a way of evading immune destruction. This isn't a fool proof method.. but its an idea nonetheless..

Feedback/Ideas/Comments anyone?

Other than "YOU FOOLISH BLEEDING NERD! GET A LIFE OR GO TO HELL!", I've taken that into account already :) Geeks need love too..