The Grace of Flight

Once again my childhood dream enthrals me... the graceful dance in the heavens above.. of deadly aerial combat.. HAWX by Ubisoft is coming out in Fall 2008..

Beautiful...

Someone get me a PS3..

Actually scrub that.. give me my 1st class honours first.. then my PS3

Maybe a future NHMRC research grant will also have budget for PS3 in order to enable productive research and completion of a high quality PhD? i mean its less than $1K rite? even a centrifuge costs more than that.. and all it can do is SPIN.. ok and maybe refrigerate and spin very quickly.. but not very entertaining..

Just as I am

Just as I am, without one plea
But that thy blood was shed for me
And that thou bidd’st me come to thee
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am and waiting not
To rid my soul of one dark blot,
To thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, though tossed about
With many a conflict, many a doubt,
Fightings and fears within, without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am,
thou wilt receive,
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;
Because thy promise I believe,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come

Still feeling the residual pinch of singlehood- I found some comfort in this song.. just as I am, whatever I am.. my God loved me so much to send His son Jesus to bleed on the cross for me..

Alas maybe singlehood is God's way of helping me serve others better.. to share whatever love within my heart with all others.. rather than focus it on one person... to be very frank, I don't really embrace it well.. often I feel its unfair- what have I done to deserve singlehood? I don't smoke, binge drink, curse+swear, behave rowdily.. The fact that over 5 years of being here, changing my dressing, my character, losing 20+kg does not affect my status shows one thing- this isn't within human hands.. yes God you've proven your point..

I must admit that it is disheartening in the sense that being in service to others is tiring.. times when I am compelled to act pre-emptively in order provide relief or aid for others, people don't really treasure effort.. thats alright.. my treasure is in heaven anyway.. but yet in my giving, I've always wished there was someone else to watch my back and support me.. someone whom I can talk to without having to resort to blogging to empty my mind...

I pray that one day, God will bless me with an angel.. and together, continue to serve God to the best of our synergistic abilities. Yes, I realise now.. I've given up with my human efforts.. and I surrender it to God.. God's will be done.. whatever my lot Thou has taught me to say "It is well, It is well with my soul". Still, I pray for patience and comfort for my heart to be still.. and teach me to rely on God's providence.. and how I can better serve others in response to God's love..

Just as I am.. my God loves me..

Marked for Destruction

Just another idea..

Phosphatidyserine is only exposed on the outer membrane of cells undergoing apoptosis (cell suicide) and this functions to signal immune cells to clear out these dead cells. How about tagging cancer cells with such markers for immune cell attack and clearance?

My idea consists of using a targeting moiety such as a monoclonal antibody, to deliver phosphatidylserine coated liposomes onto cancer cells

Upon membrane fusion, Phosphatidylserine will be exposed on the outer leaflet of the tumour cell membrane. This will make the tumour cell appear apoptotic and passing immune cells will recognise it and attempt to clear out the tumour cell.

Immune cells will respond by primarily by phagocytosis- however if phagocytosis fails, immune cells can also use cytotoxic granules to attack the cell. In accompaniment to that, cytokines and chemotactic factors will recruit more immune cells to the vincinity to assist with tumour destruction.

This idea was based on activating and harnessing the specific destructive capability of the immune system to deal with malignant cells rather than rely on conventional chemotherapeutic compounds.

Nevertheless, tumours are always sneaky.. a FOXP3+, Interleukin-10 or Transforming Growth Factor-beta (TGF-b) positive tumour cell can shut down immune system as a way of evading immune destruction. This isn't a fool proof method.. but its an idea nonetheless..

Feedback/Ideas/Comments anyone?

Other than "YOU FOOLISH BLEEDING NERD! GET A LIFE OR GO TO HELL!", I've taken that into account already :) Geeks need love too..

Falcon 4.0 Allied Force

I mentioned I didn't like playing com games rite? I succumbed to my childhood dreams of becoming a fighter pilot.. and bought this $15 flight simulator.. I must admit.. tho the graphics aren't absolutely fantastic.. the realism is there.... it is technically complicated to hell.. for a single action, a multitude of switches have to be turned.. toggling between various submodes- Air to Air and Air to Ground modes.. even within Air to Air mode, there's "Track While Scan" (TWS) and "Range While Search" (RWS) modes for Pulse Doppler Radar.. One move that I've done to make flight easier (other than setting unlimited fuel and ammo- ok comeon I still want to blow the heck out of everyone..) I always switch "Countermeasures" from "Manual" to "Automatic" so lest anyone shoots at me, I just have to throw some evasive maneuvers... and the system will automatically throw Chaff and Flares before I get a missile up my ass...

High G Barrel Maneuver- A close range favourite

Oh yes did I mention, I get a cool callsign too? Cowboy One-One

Despite the hullabaloo that enters the virtural cockpit when u get hit.. the thrill is in the technicality of handling it.. failled hydraulics, sluggish handling, leaking fuel tank.. and to top it off, 10 other bad guys that want to kill you.. the excitement is manually switiching controls to auxillary, power to backup, jumpstarting the engines, calling for help and making it back to home limping.. ejecting spoils the fun.. Oh yes- there's multiplayer too and it can be played on LAN- anyone for flight simulators?

Spiral Dive Attacking Maneuver- Beautiful but very difficult to achieve

Flying is definitely not an easy task to do.. :) Well.. when the going gets tough, the tough resort to playing flight stimulators- you can shoot 50 missiles at 1 fool..

Dynamin

δύναμην, καθορισμός, τιμωρώ

"Dynamin, Kathorismos, Timoro"

Strength, Determination, Discipline

Getting into gear.. times are challenging and tough but I must not falter from it.. there're 2 things you can do when faced with a challenge: Run or Fight.. I don't think running is ethical... its better to stand ground and fight for victory (νίκη- pronounced 'nike') or to whatever death... far better than giving up.. its a chance to prove my resolve and ardour for success.. δύναμην, καθορισμός, τιμωρώ! I am inspired by the words of my supervisor.. whom I truly admire and respect.. he said once "your success is my success".. those are the words of a true teacher.. "If you succeed, its good for you, good for me, good for the whole universe..".. from a Greek soccer player to hairdresser to top honours and PhD student in Pathology, transforming his students from 63 average to a First Class honours.. someone who chases me out of the lab to OCF on friday and tells me that church is important.. why should I have any doubts? for so much that's given to me- how am I not to reciprocate and respond with my utmost efforts?

Nevertheless, it was a bad week for the Molecular Radiation Biology Lab- even the 'Greek God' supervisor said so.. finally after a hectic week, we had the chance to regroup and resume our normal coffee sessions at the commune with "Rajopoulos"- the Greek form of Indian Raj- whom Tom bestowed the title "The God of gamma-H2AX and microscopy"; for our "high level discussions" ie. talk cock session..

Tom felt like belting someone (his cousin Nick Karagiannis was the world Muay Thai champion), Raj felt like calling 10 people from his village (seriously this is how its done there..) and bashing someone else up.. I felt like getting 10 world Muay Thai champions regardless of village or blood relations and wrecking something.. ok maybe I'll have these 10 men kung-fu trained too.. . Oh well.. yes indeed it had been a long drawn out week.. indeed.. 3 tired men on a friday evening with at the Commune sipping lattes.. but still laughing at each other's follies..

Well just a intro to the Molecular Radiation Biology Lab:

Head

A/Prof Roger Martin "Big Boss"

Research Officers

Dr Pavel Lobachevsky "Comrade"

Dr Tom Karagiannis "Greek God" (Eddie the delivery guy asserts its "Greek Goddess")

Dr Andrea Smith "Mother Goose/Hen"

Students

Rebecca Kate Pelzer "Becks" - Resident Retail Therapist

Kenneth Chin "Kenny-San/Aussie Battler"

Resident Microscopy Expert

Rajsekharan Vaisreddy "Rajopoulous/Raji/Love Guru/God of Gamma-H2AX and Microscopy"

Common Scientific Lingo Within the lab

"I think I need to work on my cleavage" - Becks in referance to repeating Topoisomerase I DNA cleavage assay..

"We need more hot stuff!"- Kenny in referance to obtaining more radioactive 125-Iodine labelled drug..

"That's about the size of the target"- Tom in mimicry to Roger's TV statement on Channel 10 on the lab's "Smart Bomb" technology

*Russian Accent* "Ken! you know! this is critical parameter! distribution of Auger electron not linear!" *scribbles a complex mathematical graph on paper*- Pavel on the the use of he term "Linear Energy Transfer" on Auger Electrons..

"So Ken, is this 99% fat free too?" Roger on the birthday cake for Pavel's birthday lab celebrations

"Hmm yes this is a good idea.. however I don't think its very feasible within the given time frame" - Tom, which when deciphered = "No _________(insert profanity in adjective form) Chance Mate!"

One Day..

To top off an emotionally exhausting week, here's something amusing I found today.. is it a sign? haha well we all had a good laugh in the lab.. It was most certainly a mistake.. it ended up with a patient report confirming that the patient was not diagnosed with Mesothelioma.. well thats good news to the patient and it provided comic relief to the lab.. well done Peter Mac..

Well strangely tho- the correspondance and address are correct- I am "K. 'Kenny-san' Chin" of Research Division, Molecular Radiation Biology Laboratory.. oh well.... if it means anything- I can spare abit of doxorubicin, mitomycin, vinblastine or nick abit of camptothecin from becks

My prognosis of the situation- absolutely fantastic, I'm laughing, the patient isn't dying.. we're totally cool..

Oh well I must admit it has an addictive sound to it.. it sounds strangely accomplished tho tons of scientists have PhDs.. sounds like you can be an agent of change.. can I- a humble honours student change the course of history and shape that future? I have yet to find out.. after I wake up maybe I'll get an epiphany in my dreams.. Bedtime..

Better Day

Great God who knowest all our needs

Bless thou our watch and guard our sleep

Forgive our sins of thought and deed

And in the peace thy servants keep

We thank thee for the day that's done

We trust thee for the days to be

Thy love we learn in Christ thy Son

O may we all His glory seek

Amen.

- The Boys' Brigade Vesper

In a day where after safely returning from the ski trip, an avalanche of bad news strikes... won't go into any detail because it is lengthy.. disheartening.. to a point that infront of my supervisor I'm almost breaking down.. i hold back and hide it.. I take a deep breath in.. feel the muscles tightening and tremoring at my restraint; at the suppression of emotion.. I feel my eye sockets heated.. but I will shed no tears.. not any indiscretion on my supervisor's part.. just the predicament that I am placed in.. I can't give up.. I won't give up.. surrendering in the face of adversity is not an option..

Got home and the house is in a mess.. cousin's GF came over to cook for him.. made him a very elaborate dinner.. also left behind a very elaborate mess.. I cleaned it up.. because it was left there and no one bothered to clean it up promptly- I had to clear it before preparing my lunch.. feeling incredibly frustrated but sucking it in.. because I didn't want to kick up a fuss about it- just that it has been incredibly recurrent in the house and cousin seems to caught up with playing WOW to do anything about it... nevermind..

Somehow I wish there was someone who could empathise with me.. yes I may not suffer from disability nor in poverty, nevertheless the predicament causes a measure of distress and frustration.

Oh most merciful God do not forsake me.. grant me strength and keep me close.. grant me patience and comfort to endure even as I'm confronted with adversity.. despite difficult times, let my lips be ever filled with praises for thee.. I am at the mercy of Your hands.. Oh Lord deliver me...

I just thank God its the end of the day.. hopefully tomorrow will be a better day..

A White Alpine Heaven

Falls Creek Haiku

White Alpine Heaven

In a Winter Wonderland

Walau! Damm cold sia!

Falls Creek '08

Beh, R., Chin, K., Chiong, Y. Y., Chong, T. Y. X., Chua, Z. K., Chua, W. L., Loon, D., Tan, S., Tham, E. Wee, B., Woo, JW and Yow, T. S. 2008

To be continued....

Song

A mixture of excitement and mental fatigue from the events of the past few days.. sitting in the comfort of the car.. suddenly a familiar tune.. despite the sleepiness, my lips can't resist but open.. and sing to the tune..

"Even the best fall down sometimes,

even the wrong words seem to rhyme

out of the doubt that fills my mind....."

Look out of the window.. the passing darkness.. yet it was as if I was watching a film.. snippets played out to me.. phrases said.. mannerisms.. and suddenly a pain.. its like running forward and being shot with a hollow point bullet right in the chest.. unlike normal bullets that punch a small hole thru, hollow point rounds expand upon impact- stopping power.. a sudden cold gripping feeling.. they say that the word 'Nostalgia' in greek literally translates 'the pain of an old wound..' silently I grimace and focus my mind.. shut my eyes and allow fatigue to gravitate my mind to sleep.. alas sleep brings a measure of relief relief..

Caramel Tart

SUCCESS!

Begining Phase I (cytotoxicity) trials shortly on OCFers/PeterMac Honours Students

Discipline

Being asked to dinner at Norsiah by yixian- easy to turn down.. walking past Norsiah smelling that distinct smell of the fried chicken.. feeling cold tired and hungry.. just gotta step in ask for a nasi lemak.. no... I can't do it.. that would be betraying myself.. I have to be resolute.. and slay the Ephialtes(traitor) within me.. need to toughen up both mentally and physically... discipline myself..

Hold on to the age old adage- "Train hard, fight easy".. training hard isn't the only thing.. the body becomes very effecient at doing a particular task if its subjected repeatedly to it.. it adapts.. in order to excel, one must keep out of the comfort zone.. a dose of daily challenge.. hormesis.. the use of stressful stimuli to illicit beneficial responses..

Discipline myself in my work and my exercise..

Comfort

Whilst doing my experiments today, for some reason I kept hearing these few sentences repeated thru my head.. almost as if it were an MP3 player on repeat..

"..I will never leave you nor forsake you.."

"..Cast all your cares on Him because he cares for you"

"... plans to prosper you and not to harm you.."

It was a very strange feeling.. the whole time I sat there, these sentences kept running over again and again... abit eerie yet strangely comforting.. could this be God speaking to me?.. I feel a strangely calm feeling- everything seems to be under control.. something tells me to keep my cool cos I'm covered.. a feeling that despite the fact that I will probably never be thrown into a den of lions nor a blazing furnace.. my God will deliver me because he is mighty to save..

"Say to those who are fearful hearted- do not be afraid! The Lord your God is strong with His mighty arms when you call on His name.. He will come and save..

And He will come save you.. He will come and save you.. say to the weary one, your God will surely come.. He will come and save you.. He will come and save you.. lift up your eyes to Him, you will arise again.. He will come and save you..

Say to those who are broken hearted- do not lose your faith! The Lord your God is strong with His loving arms- when you call on His name, He will come and save..

He is our refuge in the day of trouble.. He is our shelter in the time of storm.. He is our tower in the time of strugle, our fortress in the time of war.."

Truly this gives me peace in my heart.. and strength to continue the fight on.. Thanks be to God who is my provider for His grace is sufficient for me..

Μολὼν λαβέ!

Μολὼν λαβέ!

Pronounced: Molōn labe! (Greek)

Meaning "Come and get them!" or in modern English context "Over my dead body!"

Context: The battle of Thermopylae where the Persian king Xerxes with vastly superior forces, asked the Spartan king Leonidas with 300 Spartan warriors to surrender their weapons and in return, spare their lives.. Μολὼν λαβέ! was the greek response.. Defiance, steely resolution and courage in the face of adversity.. a good character trait to inculcate.. no surrender even in the face of adversity..

.. give up in the face of a tough challenge? Μολὼν λαβέ!!!!!

The Story of Daniel

PMS (Prevalent Male Silliness) Cramps..

July Camp 08- The Story of Daniel

From the book of Daniel in the bible, there're many important points that can be drawn from it..

1. Fear God

2. Dun'ch anyhow think you si-beh tok kong and be actsy mama.. always remember 'humbility'!

3. Even if suay suay, people buay song and sabo you- relak one korner, be faithful and trust God.. he will deliver you..

4. Read the bible- you got warning already- Seriously wake up your idea! dun'ch anyhow sia suay yourself..

It was really inspiring.. a man who is so faithful and held God in such a personal relationship.. depsite good or bad times.. always humble at heart and remembering that God is always in control.. I aspire to be like Daniel.. how much faith does it take for a man to be cool about being thrown into a lion's den? knowing that God will deliver him.. being always thankful and praising God for his providence..

God, teach me to be such a person.. Strengthen me to do your will.. to be always thankful and to be a blessing to others.. Be thou my vision, be thou my strength and my comfort.. You give and take away- let my lips always be filled with your praise regardless of my circumstance. Let me serve humbly on my knees in any task that is given.. be it great or small and may it glorify you..

Blessed Be Your Name (Tree63)

Blessed be your name

In the land that is plentiful

Where the streams of abundance flow

Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name

When I'm found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,

turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say...

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's all as it should be

Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name

On the road marked with suffering

Oh, There's pain in the offering

Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,

I turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say...

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be your glorious name

Bridge:

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to stay

Well Blessed be your name..

All this I pray.. Amen..