-CYTOPLASMIC-: January 2009

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Insight

The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference..

I feel a sense of impatientence.. waiting on job responses.. If I don't get the lab job with Experimental Therapeutics @ ASTAR, I'll go do volunteer work for children with cancer..

Maybe I'll regret my impatience for finding something to keep my hands busy when I enlist.. but well I'll regret that later..

It just feels so squalid..

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Contemplate

Its 2009 already.. and here I am sitting on my butt contemplating the future. The feeling of not going back to melbourne is a mixed one- kinda sad because those few years were really the best years of my life, yet happy because from here on, I can move to the next stage in life.. which is erm.. ironically to pay off a debt.. but one i dont mind.. something different for a change.

Torn between 2 choices- PhD or medicine.. I know not which is better. After 4 years of science, it is as if my brain circuitry has been wired to think in a science manner. I went to the NUS med/Sci book store and opened up a medical textbook on clinical practise and realised its a totally different ball game as compared to science.. it came almost as a shock to me. I thought that having a firm grounding in science will guarantee an ace in medicine.. but looks like its a totally different ball game- one which stakes are higher and mistakes can cost lives.

Yet I just feel compelled to want to do something about it- the fact that I am young and have to serve NS imparts a feeling of my hands being tied up. But oh well, a debt is a debt and it has to be paid off.

Anyway sitting on my butt's starting to get boring.. hopefully job replies come in soon.. really need to keep my mind active and focused on something before it rots..