White Flower

The White Flower

There, by the gravel path I saw
A scene so enchanting
One yielding inspiration and awe,
Melded with tenacity and daunting.

Sway, in the balmy dry breeze
A white flower in simplicity divine
Its splendour contrasted amongst flowerbed debris
The plethora of insiduous weeds, its glory not deprive

Stand,with tenacity and resolve white flower
Amongst barren and desolate earth
Amidst weeds that seek so viciously your existance to devour
Alone you saturate your entity with mirth.

There, by the gravel path a white flower I saw
Dauntless against the tiny cruel world of its own
Even as the coruscating nuance gnaws
May its resilience to all.. be made known.

Kenneth Chin (1987- )

27th July 2006

Today the 27th July 2006

A tiring and long day.. and I've been procrastinating.. well.. i dont know if "its the start of school and I'm busy" syndrome or its just due to pure slacking.. whichever way it is, I better get it rectified soon..

For many nights I've had many strange dreams.. not that they rob me of sleep..but its as if.. the mind will not find rest.. even as the body succumbs to the softness of the pillow and warmth of a blanket in this harsh melbourne winter..

I guess.. well.. maybe its that I just have alot on my mind... thoughts speeding past my mind..

Oh well.. I'll continue another day.. I'm worn out.. time for a rest..

Day of days

Today the 23rd July 2006, day before the start of 2nd yr 2nd sem.. I guess in a way it means alot of things to me..

I guess I must say that miracles do happen.. especially last sem.. many things changed..

Somehow I felt that i've been thru quite alot.. some ups and downs.. days of celebration and days of sadness.. mixed into an amorphous continum.. I guess happiness is a choice.. we can chose to be happy or sad.. although most of the times we just let ourselves go into the freefall and succumb to the pain..

There're some recurring memories that seem to haunt me.. just as I walked back thru the rain today.. somehow it was like a sortie with the past... the same feeling struck me.. it was as if i knew this scene before.. from the past.. a subtle feeling of sadness... as i search the depths of my cognitive realm.. it seems to elude me.. but once i stop searching.. it materializes in the periphery of my thoughts.. strangely foreignly familiar..

I guess its back to school again.. the academic arena.. where warrior brandish not swords but textbooks and pens.. but the fight is on.. and I'll give my best..

Lesson from the lab

The Story of 0.02g in 5L


Recipe for SDS(sodium dodecyl sulfate) running buffer


72g Glycine
5g SDS
15.34g Tris base (tris-2-Amino-2-hydroxymethyl-1,3-propanediol)
5.00L de-ionized H2O 18.2(omega)M @ 24.5'C

Setting: I'm preparing 5L of SDS running buffer for the 2D gel electrophoresis,
my supervisor notices that I'm overtly meticulous abt the mass of tris base
making sure that its exactly 15.34g (the weighing balance
measures up to 0.000000g accurately, I'm trying to make it as close to
15.34g and no more no less.)

Supervisor: Ken, what're u doing? hows the experiment going?
Ken: oh, I'm trying to ensure that the proper quantity of tris is added to the buffer..
Supervisor: whats the amount u need to add?
Ken: *double checks the recipe to verify the amount* 15.34g
Supervisor: what is your reading on the scale?
Ken:15.36.. its quite difficult.. such a tiny amt and it fluctuates by 0.02g..
Supervisor: Hmm yes.. if you're making something thats <20mLs that would matter(20mLs is relatively a large amount).. what is your volume again?
Ken: umm 5L?
Supervisor: *laughs* exactly so.. that difference of 0.02g wouldnt make ANYdifference to something thats 5L! Precision is a good trait of a scientist.. knowing when to be precise and calculative is an even more important trait..

There the story ends.. and I had a good think about it.. 0.02g.. What was I thinking? And I thought about this lesson i learnt superimposed upon the canvas of life.. sometimes i find that I'm so calculative of things.. the need for precision in almost everything.. when some minor things happen I get flustered.. and just like that 0.002g i get edgy.. and waste time trying to remedy the supposed "problem".. when instead.. I fail to realise that its 5L.. its analogous to the vastness of life.. and being so calculative of such things dont even make a difference..

I guess from this.. I learnt to see things at the "5L" perspecive and not the "20mL" perspective.. paradigm shift.. thats life.. its a whole dynamic process of give and take +/- 0.02g.. I guess I should go easy on myself as well as others.. sometimes in life we lose and sometimes we gain.. and when we get so caught up abt being so precise and calculative.. fixated on some things.. unable to let go.. we fail to see the bigger picture.. the 5L "IT DOESNT MATTER".. Yet it should be noted.. a diff of 0.002g wont make a difference.. BUT 20.000g or even 2.000g makes a huge difference.. thats when of course.. there must be steps taken to remedy the problem..

Somethings have held my heart captive for so long.. wrenching in so much pain.. just like a man escaping from a sinking ship.. hanging on to posessions.. realising if he doesnt let go.. he'll drown.. running away from the problem.. doesnt help.. i guess the problem should be faced head on..

And the best remedy to it.. is exactly the 5L view.. to live and let live.. my grandma in her sickness.. told me.. never to compare with others.. because u can never be satisfied.. you'll burn out, be incredibly miserable.. and your heart'll be so crippled.. the only person that I should compare with.. is myself.. Give and take.. forget, forgive, live and let live

hols

Its 12:20 and I'm still not in bed.. and I gotta go to work at 9 2mr morn.. and its gonna be a long day.. I dont know why i'm still up at this time.. even feeling so awake..

Things are starting to roll up.. hols are coming to an end.. and I guess i feel that I really enjoyed the hols.. all the food and pampering frm my parents.. yet.. work seems to deprive me of a good holiday i wanted.. neverthelss no point complaining.. its almost over anyway..

Sleep seems to be so saturated with dreams.. vivid yet so brief.. from the shutting till the opening of my eyes.. a whole eternity seems to pass like a split second. Yet when I awake the thoughts in my mind seem to form an amorphous amalgam.. that flows like the raging torrents of a river past the very dams of my cognitive logic processing.

Its hols yet i feel something in my mind disturbing me.. like a coruscating nuance... like a spectre.. u feel its presence but when u look.. it disappears.. perhaps the innermost fears manifesting itself upon a tired mind? For some reason I feel unhappy.. and I dont know why.. and I dont think I'm having my period...

Anyway off to bed.. work calls for me 2mr.. another day in the life of kenchin..

Words

Words

Upon virginal white fibres, yield
Swiftly,gracefully and elegantly, dance
Uninhibited you waltz across the vast white field
With a trail like a shooting star, you mark your passing in a glance

On behalf of one's cognition, speak
Verily if 'ere urgent, haste
Paint the message of your picture beautiful or bleak
Let the mind at the recieving end, the emotions taste

Like a raging river or tears of subtle sadness, flow
Vivaciouly adorned with colour, saturate
Bathe the mind's senses with feelings you behold
Determine if the message you bear is love or hate

Words of my heart please, sing
To this world, my humble offering of expression, give
Emotions that render colour to my world you bring
Manifest yourself, while I still have breath.. and for as long as I live

Written by: Ken Chin (1987- )