Tag, you're it..

Feeling totally jaded and worn out.. but I've only begun

Its just a card but it feels like a heavy responsibility on my neck.. its a cool title.. but.. it feels like a misnomer.. how much more till I can get a break? thru my every year of uni life I've sacrificed my holidays for the sake of education.. Parents always call to bug you to work hard.. rarely hear them call you to remind you to play hard...

It's very hard to see the bright side of this.. do good for mankind, find a cure.. its a overused cliche answer... To top it off, it was my decision... I chose this path and I'm feeling bitter about the decisions I made... the reluctant sacrifice.. its not like having a Honours degree will make you more respectable, a happier person.. it just means you won't be serving drinks at a coffee shop for a living..

Perhaps just a feeling of frustration of my predicament.. bound to honour my parents effort and investment.. It feels that I've just lost the will to fight.. the loss of vision and purpose.. because being purpose driven and having direction never really brought me happiness.. just many more sacrifices.. Maybe just fatigue.. more than a honours degree I just need a break..

The only thing that keeps me alive till then, is firstly my obligation to my parents, secondly, the hope that it'll all be over soon.. that I'll finally get to have a good rest as promised and broken holiday after holiday.. finally, my supervisor who at least seems to be concerned for my welfare and not just churning out results.. and the effort he has put in to pave this path for me.

I just hope my perspective changes soon.. It just isn't very motivational at all.. i felt a tinge of regret working my holidays away not because of the environment... but the promises to myself that I've broken.. I should start thinking for myself..

Its complicated.. I don't expect anyone to understand it.. I've given up thinking why or who I do it for.. its really sad and I wish it were'nt this way.. I'll just do it because I have to.

Pepper Lunch

Sudden Craving for Pepper Lunch.. :s

Visited Malaysia '08

I LOVE M'SIA MAN... Many thanks to the warm and overwhelming hospitality of the M'sians especially Juwen who hosted me and Yokey who stuffed me stupid with food :) Will definitely be back for more!

Steamed LaLa with ginger is L-O-V-E
Peanuts

Shakey and Yokey

Dinner at Pantai Seafood!

Uh.. Durian??.. Julian??!

Advanced Teknologi in M'sia

Update Summary of Feb 2008

Note: This is formatted Jon Lai style for convenience- props to the man, shame on my lack of creativity

6th Feb: Goodbye Lab, Hello Chinese New Year

Packed my desk, said goodbye to my cell lines in the incubator, said goodbye to my tubes of E.coli and Salmonella in the pathogen room, poured bleach into them after i did.. Humin lamented that now that I'm gone, Beloved Supervisor Sunil will just prank her.. cos his 2 magicians (meili and nadhirah) and now the cookie monster (yours truly) are all gone. That marked the beginning of my holiday.. I finished exactly 2 months from the day I first started. No doubt I picked up valuable skills during this time.. but honestly I asked myself if it was worth sacrificing my holidays for it.. everything in my life seemed like sacrifice to ths point.. The sacrifice of today so that you can see a brighter 2mr. OK I must admit, I did it to appease my parents too.. they can't stand the thought of me loafing around aimlessly.. tho sometimes i feel thats exactly what I need.. so much sacrifice.. who even knows if you'll live to see tomorrow? in your younger days u sacrifice fun for a good mark, and later you sacrifice and work hard for the family.. when will u stop sacrificing and start thinking for yourself?

It struck me as that... I remembered leaving the lab with happiness and a tinge of regret- so many things I had to turn down because I had work.. many things I haven't said to my parents- I try my best not to complain- one cos they'll tell me not to as the best solution, and 2 because I don't expect them to understand my predicament. You can sacrifice for the future.. but when that comes, you definitely can't give me my life back when I was young and youthful.. Nevertheless, I respect what my parents have done for me, and its only fitting that I bite the bullet and do likewise to make sure that their investment hasn't failed. My comfort is that I could probably do cell culture blindfolded and with 5 shots of tequila.

Ate from the lab stash one last time.. strangely didn't feel hungry.. its a bright sunny afternoon and all I want to do is head on home..

Earned $50 today- washing Dad's car.. mom protested that dad paid it out at that extravagant price, which I justified as:

1. Economic inflation: 4.4-5.5%

2. GST:7%

3. Service Tax 10%

4. Festive Season surcharge: 20% extra

5. Academic qualification: A BSc. graduate is washing ur car

Maybe i'm charging too little..

Dinner at wen yang's place with extended family- in total which accounts for only 13 people. Sister fell asleep before 12 midnight to wish mom and dad happy CNY.. I made up for it by staying up till 4- balance out to make sure my parents had long lives.. or so tradition believes..

7th Feb: Merry CNY

Food food and more food.. feeling the prosperity in terms of finance as well as the amount of fat on my frame.. Ang Pao Collection and handing it to Minister of Monetary matters (MOM) to settle.. played blackjack with my extended family after that. Mom invested $0.50 in me and I returned her $2.00... net profit = $1.50- At least my prata for breakfat is covered 2mr :) Why did i study Science?

-TO BE CONTINUED-

Some Photos

Rags of our Fathers

Student Outreach Program 'O8 VY Lab

"It was uhhh.. uhhh.... Ice Lemon Tea!!!" - "Hsuzy" Hsu, Z. Y commenting on the contents of his jug when questioned by his mom..

The eyes are the windows to the cells..

. 2008 .

"Discipline is doing what is right, even if it is difficult"

- Motto outside RSAF Changi Air Base West

"In a river, the stream and the rock meet in confrontation. But the stream always wins; not by sheer strength- but by persistence"

- A poster in VY lab, Institute of Molecular Cell Biology, A*STAR

"The Best is Yet to Be"

-The Motto of Anglo-Chinese School

Discipline. Persistence. The Best. 2008.

Sunday Shootings II

A day in Sepia...

Bend it like Prashaanth Kumar Rajendraan

Mark Balakrishnan on the line

"Aey make sure u're aiming at the goal ya?"

"... uhh..."

"OH S&*$!!!!"

Daniel delivers both in Sunday School and on the Soccer Court..

Spot on..

Michael's Finishing

Soccer on Sunday

Sunday after sunday at AC barker, soccer is routine.. its almost as if the sun wouldnt rise if no soccer was played on sunday at the barker courts. After many twisted ankles and scuffed knees and bruises, I've decided that I'll shoot something else other than the keeper.. here're are my very amateurish attempts.. I just figured out how to do like continuous shooting only later at night.. will try again next week..

The contemplative player...

Slam it in..

Dean's Thai style follow thrus..

Boogie on down..

A classic soccer trick- the Dummy:

Shoot at goal while getting a team mate to do funny stuff

Launching a half court cracker.. courtesy of Prashaanth Kumar Rajendran

As you can see these are really amateurish! but nevertheless, I'll be back with more

I NEED PHOTOSHOOT LESSONS FROM THE GREAT LYDIA TEH!

2008

An Obvious and blatant lack of creativity involved in coming up with a title there.. nevertheless, in lieu of the stinging comment from JON LAI who says UPDATE, I have no choice but to rise up to the challenge.... dammit...

The few things I've learnt from 2007:

.Impossible is Nothing, Only with God

.God's love is unconditional

.To change the unbearable and to bear the unchangeable and to know the difference between the both

.The difference between success and failure isnt a lack of skill but rather, a lack of will.

.Love all, trust a few, hurt none

. People change.. befriend as many as you can, maintain as many as possible, be willing to let friends go..

It has been a long year and a journey nonetheless. thru many ups and downs.. times that I've silently shed tears, euphoria in the company of friends.. met with success and disappointment alike (I wont use the word failure- because you only fail when u give up). Some things have changed- my weight, my outlook of life, friends.. some things havent- the fact that I'm still single.

Anyway, as a cliche to all other blog posts, I'll set out my resolution (800x600) for this year. And whosoever see-eth me faltering from it, you are allowed to kick me in the behind to wake up my idea..

Resolution 2008 (in no order of importance or experience points/ level ups gained)

• 1st Class Honours for Honours Year
• Run the Melbourne Marathon
• Love God and trust him more
• Love others more and be kind (sounds overtly simplistic but actually isnt easy to achieve)
• Train up in preparation for the Army (dammit!)

Whatever the future brings, I dont know.. but what I do know is God is with us always :) Happy 2008 :)

*ps Sorry I have to go to bed.. I promise to update and write more! SORRY!