" Country road, take me home.. to a place I belong...."
"This is home, truly, where I know I must be, where my dreams wait for me- where the river always flows.. This is home, surely, as my senses tell me.. this is where I won't be alone... for this is where I know.. its home.."
2 very emo songs keep playing thru my head today- cos it was on my MP3 player..
Oh well.. I guess thats enough said..
Better get back to my desk- before ZhiKai or Grace Ping sees me at the computer terminal and makes fun of me "STUDYING" again..
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Study
Do you put on a jacket to keep warm or prevent you from catching a cold?
Is running away from something the same as running towards its polar opposite?
I just had a couple of thoughts about academics as I observe my biochem class which has been increased with polytechnic derived students. I see them thru the whole semester eternally locked away in the library.. with incredible discipline and kiasu-ness. How does one explain such a phenomenon? At the revision tute, one of them gave the lecture a whole list of questions to answer.. infront of the whole class.. u could hear the murmuring as he unbashedly went up with his whole plethora of questions. I admire this person for being thick-skinned tho probably this would probably be the contrary to the culture here. It was then I began to ask myself- what drives these people?
A passing comment from one was "I didn't do well then, I gotta buck up now"
I was quite in agreement with that- I came here living on a second chance. I totally empathise with that statement. But yet they seem to isolate themselves from the whole world and delve into the academic realm.. once again becoming cliquish to their own kind.. Observing their social interactions, I wanted to understand the underlying mechanisms that produce the resultant phenotype.
Could it be perhaps of intimidation? entering uni as a greenhorn in 3rd year isnt exactly the smoothest passage- probably more like the opening shock of jumping out of a plane. And having to get up to speed with the curricula.
Could it be of sheer competition that they just want to beat the competition? Esteeming students of Australian education as ill disciplined, slack and hedonistic and hence easy prey? cos if they stayed home in Sg, placed amongst RJ students or the equally elite of Singaporean education, it would be a wipeout.
Could it be the shame of failure that is so deep rooted in our society? The social norm demands our utmost efforts to maintain and establish honour and more so to honour our parents expectations?
thus this leads me to archaic and very cliche 'carrot or stick' themed comment:
Is it studying for fear of failure or is it studying out of passionate love?
Because both would most likely- in the acute phase, produce the same effect. It is probably not a very wise thing to question the motives of studying on the eve of exams- but I shall be as incisive so as to gain insight. Most parents would say to you: "it is for your future" or "we cannot lose out to others" or compare you to other brigher kids and ask "why can't you be like (insert the name of the genius of choice)?" Perhaps its such things that give rise to such fervour in work?
I would want to ask them " why are you studying science? " and probably predict a very cliche answer "cos I can't do anything else" or " I didnt know what else to do "
I have yet to hear a person tell me in utmost earnesty "because I love science with all my heart". One thing that I would want to clear misconceptions about Australians being more laid back- whilst they may lack the forged iron discipline of Asian students, they make up with passion.. a love that drives them and keeps them going.. the exact description is UNCONDITIONAL.. regardless of the results they obtain.
On the eve of my impending graduation, I think its important to consider this paradigm- understanding why things are done and not just doing things for the sake of it- And I firmly believe that doing things out of love is much better than doing out of fear
Likewise in the same manner, in my hours spent at the library, when I grow weary of the day and work, I'll remember that its not the fear of failure but rather the love of science that I must have to keep me going.
-Postera Crescam Laude-
Is running away from something the same as running towards its polar opposite?
I just had a couple of thoughts about academics as I observe my biochem class which has been increased with polytechnic derived students. I see them thru the whole semester eternally locked away in the library.. with incredible discipline and kiasu-ness. How does one explain such a phenomenon? At the revision tute, one of them gave the lecture a whole list of questions to answer.. infront of the whole class.. u could hear the murmuring as he unbashedly went up with his whole plethora of questions. I admire this person for being thick-skinned tho probably this would probably be the contrary to the culture here. It was then I began to ask myself- what drives these people?
A passing comment from one was "I didn't do well then, I gotta buck up now"
I was quite in agreement with that- I came here living on a second chance. I totally empathise with that statement. But yet they seem to isolate themselves from the whole world and delve into the academic realm.. once again becoming cliquish to their own kind.. Observing their social interactions, I wanted to understand the underlying mechanisms that produce the resultant phenotype.
Could it be perhaps of intimidation? entering uni as a greenhorn in 3rd year isnt exactly the smoothest passage- probably more like the opening shock of jumping out of a plane. And having to get up to speed with the curricula.
Could it be of sheer competition that they just want to beat the competition? Esteeming students of Australian education as ill disciplined, slack and hedonistic and hence easy prey? cos if they stayed home in Sg, placed amongst RJ students or the equally elite of Singaporean education, it would be a wipeout.
Could it be the shame of failure that is so deep rooted in our society? The social norm demands our utmost efforts to maintain and establish honour and more so to honour our parents expectations?
thus this leads me to archaic and very cliche 'carrot or stick' themed comment:
Is it studying for fear of failure or is it studying out of passionate love?
Because both would most likely- in the acute phase, produce the same effect. It is probably not a very wise thing to question the motives of studying on the eve of exams- but I shall be as incisive so as to gain insight. Most parents would say to you: "it is for your future" or "we cannot lose out to others" or compare you to other brigher kids and ask "why can't you be like (insert the name of the genius of choice)?" Perhaps its such things that give rise to such fervour in work?
I would want to ask them " why are you studying science? " and probably predict a very cliche answer "cos I can't do anything else" or " I didnt know what else to do "
I have yet to hear a person tell me in utmost earnesty "because I love science with all my heart". One thing that I would want to clear misconceptions about Australians being more laid back- whilst they may lack the forged iron discipline of Asian students, they make up with passion.. a love that drives them and keeps them going.. the exact description is UNCONDITIONAL.. regardless of the results they obtain.
On the eve of my impending graduation, I think its important to consider this paradigm- understanding why things are done and not just doing things for the sake of it- And I firmly believe that doing things out of love is much better than doing out of fear
Likewise in the same manner, in my hours spent at the library, when I grow weary of the day and work, I'll remember that its not the fear of failure but rather the love of science that I must have to keep me going.
-Postera Crescam Laude-
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Idle Banter
"Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin- treats COPD HIV PE and DVT"- paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin" by Amateur Transplants
A session of ranting about the convoluted nature of science.
Revising for Proteomics today gave me a good visit of 2 academic spectres of the past- Mathematics and Chemistry.. It was quite a nightmare as I really did throw 1st year chem out of the window- forgot what pKa meant and the nature of nucleophillic substitution. Oh well, science is a convoluted subject.. this is an exerpt of my Proteomics lecture on CD45 a Tyrosine Phosphatase
"CD45 Tyrosine Phosphatase is involved in the dephosphorylation of phosphotyrosine in phosphoproteins"
Well it was by the same lecture who spoke of Epidermal Growth Factor Signalling:
"MAP Kinase Kinase Kinase phosphorylates MAP Kinase Kinase which phosphorylates MAP Kinase" (MAP Kinase= Mitogen Activated Protein Kinase)
Well he wasn't incorrect about it.. but he didn't make things any easier by saying that..
Nevertheless, I do aclaim this today with much pride- in 2 years of biochemistry, I FINALLY understand and could derive the Michaelis-Menten Equation (Enzyme Substrate Reactions). If Madelin saw this she'd prolly laugh at me and say I'm stupid.. It started off and I STRUGGLED with a SIMULTANEOUS equation.. but then suddenly it all picked up, and I was scribbling furiously on some paper and it took me half an hour to understand that 1 equation- FINALLY AFTER 2 YEARS of leaving enzyme kinetics questions blank or just giving an ambiguous answer.. I finally get a tiny glimpse at the mathematician's ecstacy.. and this I would love Juwen to hear.
I can finally understand (or at least empathise) how mathematicians find so much joy in their job even tho they dont have nice pretty colourful pictures. Its just the thrill of deriving equations and finally ariving at a conclusion- the sheer satisfaction of achievement. Well Here's to Juwen- who tutored me briefly for 620-160 Experimental Design and Data Analysis
Alright better not inflate Juwen's ego too much- later he think "I > U "
Engineers are somewhat a more hybrid sort- they take the convolution of science and add maths to it.. and with that they master and manipulate things to their liking..
Architects are radical- they take engineering and art and chuck it into a groovy blender.. effectively making a rojak of everything else.. rojak that you pay top dollar for
Arts Students have way too much time on their hands.
Law Students are dangerous. They can hit you with every single legal jurisdiction/legislation/constitution. Their mastery of every law makes them overtly formidable- every law except gravity
Anyway.. just some idle banter.. back to work slave.. :(
A session of ranting about the convoluted nature of science.
Revising for Proteomics today gave me a good visit of 2 academic spectres of the past- Mathematics and Chemistry.. It was quite a nightmare as I really did throw 1st year chem out of the window- forgot what pKa meant and the nature of nucleophillic substitution. Oh well, science is a convoluted subject.. this is an exerpt of my Proteomics lecture on CD45 a Tyrosine Phosphatase
"CD45 Tyrosine Phosphatase is involved in the dephosphorylation of phosphotyrosine in phosphoproteins"
Well it was by the same lecture who spoke of Epidermal Growth Factor Signalling:
"MAP Kinase Kinase Kinase phosphorylates MAP Kinase Kinase which phosphorylates MAP Kinase" (MAP Kinase= Mitogen Activated Protein Kinase)
Well he wasn't incorrect about it.. but he didn't make things any easier by saying that..
Nevertheless, I do aclaim this today with much pride- in 2 years of biochemistry, I FINALLY understand and could derive the Michaelis-Menten Equation (Enzyme Substrate Reactions). If Madelin saw this she'd prolly laugh at me and say I'm stupid.. It started off and I STRUGGLED with a SIMULTANEOUS equation.. but then suddenly it all picked up, and I was scribbling furiously on some paper and it took me half an hour to understand that 1 equation- FINALLY AFTER 2 YEARS of leaving enzyme kinetics questions blank or just giving an ambiguous answer.. I finally get a tiny glimpse at the mathematician's ecstacy.. and this I would love Juwen to hear.
I can finally understand (or at least empathise) how mathematicians find so much joy in their job even tho they dont have nice pretty colourful pictures. Its just the thrill of deriving equations and finally ariving at a conclusion- the sheer satisfaction of achievement. Well Here's to Juwen- who tutored me briefly for 620-160 Experimental Design and Data Analysis
=MATHEMATICS ROCKS=
Sine, Sine, Cosine, Sine ! 3.14159!
Alright better not inflate Juwen's ego too much- later he think "I > U "
Engineers are somewhat a more hybrid sort- they take the convolution of science and add maths to it.. and with that they master and manipulate things to their liking..
Architects are radical- they take engineering and art and chuck it into a groovy blender.. effectively making a rojak of everything else.. rojak that you pay top dollar for
Arts Students have way too much time on their hands.
Law Students are dangerous. They can hit you with every single legal jurisdiction/legislation/constitution. Their mastery of every law makes them overtly formidable- every law except gravity
Anyway.. just some idle banter.. back to work slave.. :(
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Journal Of Kenchin's Eternal Ridicule (JOKER) at Basketball 2007(17):1-99
The last few days has been a blur.. it seems so strange as if intensifying to remind me of what it means to be a uni student.. I've seen one too many sunrises in these few weeks (the sun actually rises at abt 5:20+) and the same parched dry throat with the lingering aftertaste of my super expresso (3 scoops of nescafe expresso powder and 3 tablets of splenda low calorie sweetner).. Somehow I'd wish it'd all go away... go away exams... come to me sleep..
Somehow I'm begining to realise the truth of the cliquish nature of OCF.. and even tho I've been in it for coming to 4 years, I am begining to find it abit hard to interact.. in fact it is almost as if I'm echoing thoughts of some others in OCF.. I attempted to dissuade and just wave it off as a trivial matter- yet strange that I should feel it myself. Its as if when you try to engage into a enclosed ring of people talking, they detect your presence and change frequencies.. or being excluded from certain events.. people have their reasons I guess.. but oh well.. just a lingering thought with a slight measure of distaint. Does truly make one think about the sincerity of human-human interactions.. is it as a form of social norm? just to maintain a cohesion to hold together a single unit of people?
Just as atoms in a molecule hold together by bonds- some that are tighter (hydrophobic bonds) or some that are loosely associated just to maintain a general sense of form and structure (electrostatic and hydrophillic)- is that the way humans work and interact with each other? based on a heirachy of interactions? Its just strange that these paradigms seem to mirror each other in the social and molecular context- almost as if our molecular make up influences our social aspects. Just more random thoughts from a ailing pathology student.. which hopefuly do not represent symptoms of juvenile onset dementia.. juvenile?
Still caught up with Jon Lai's argument about the origin of love. According to Lai, J.H.J 2007, humans are all evil and love is only a learned response. Children learn to love only from observing their parents- suggesting that at birth a human is devoid of love and that only thru experiences, a learned response of love can be induced. However, Chin, K.F.W 2007 postulates that love is an innate and adaptive response- if we are born with sin, are we born without love? Just as if we understand what is light, we will most surely know what darkness is.. hence Chin, K.F.W 2007 suggests that love is a primary module of emotion that is inbuilt into our neural circuitry and that it can later be further enhanced or made abberrant by external factors/occurances- hence demonstrating that it posesses elements of an adaptive response.
Anyway, time to go.. basketball time with Chai et. al 2007 (1)
References:
1. Chai, T.B.C, Kwok, P.L., Lai, J.H.J., Wong, S.Y., Chua, W.L., Tan, C., Huang, Y.K., Ho, B.J.W. and Beh, R.X.Y 2007 Get Owned at Basketball. Journal Of Kenchin's Eternal Ridicule (JOKER) At Basketball 2007(17): 1-99
Somehow I'm begining to realise the truth of the cliquish nature of OCF.. and even tho I've been in it for coming to 4 years, I am begining to find it abit hard to interact.. in fact it is almost as if I'm echoing thoughts of some others in OCF.. I attempted to dissuade and just wave it off as a trivial matter- yet strange that I should feel it myself. Its as if when you try to engage into a enclosed ring of people talking, they detect your presence and change frequencies.. or being excluded from certain events.. people have their reasons I guess.. but oh well.. just a lingering thought with a slight measure of distaint. Does truly make one think about the sincerity of human-human interactions.. is it as a form of social norm? just to maintain a cohesion to hold together a single unit of people?
Just as atoms in a molecule hold together by bonds- some that are tighter (hydrophobic bonds) or some that are loosely associated just to maintain a general sense of form and structure (electrostatic and hydrophillic)- is that the way humans work and interact with each other? based on a heirachy of interactions? Its just strange that these paradigms seem to mirror each other in the social and molecular context- almost as if our molecular make up influences our social aspects. Just more random thoughts from a ailing pathology student.. which hopefuly do not represent symptoms of juvenile onset dementia.. juvenile?
Still caught up with Jon Lai's argument about the origin of love. According to Lai, J.H.J 2007, humans are all evil and love is only a learned response. Children learn to love only from observing their parents- suggesting that at birth a human is devoid of love and that only thru experiences, a learned response of love can be induced. However, Chin, K.F.W 2007 postulates that love is an innate and adaptive response- if we are born with sin, are we born without love? Just as if we understand what is light, we will most surely know what darkness is.. hence Chin, K.F.W 2007 suggests that love is a primary module of emotion that is inbuilt into our neural circuitry and that it can later be further enhanced or made abberrant by external factors/occurances- hence demonstrating that it posesses elements of an adaptive response.
Anyway, time to go.. basketball time with Chai et. al 2007 (1)
References:
1. Chai, T.B.C, Kwok, P.L., Lai, J.H.J., Wong, S.Y., Chua, W.L., Tan, C., Huang, Y.K., Ho, B.J.W. and Beh, R.X.Y 2007 Get Owned at Basketball. Journal Of Kenchin's Eternal Ridicule (JOKER) At Basketball 2007(17): 1-99
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Sunset
If you were to ask me what I felt today.. I would show you this picture.. my last week, infact 2nd last day as an undergraduate. A whole amalgamation of flavours just permeate my thoughts- its the sort you get when you mix chilli, ketchup, mayo and abit of curry sauce together to dip your fries in at Mackers (McDonalds) on a friday night @ KAP. Every feeling is a mixture of everything else.. but it somehow tastes strangely good.. From a total noobcake in first year to a relatively more veteran Science Undergrad it has been a long journey.. and now I am in my sunset years of my undergrad years.. the next 3 weeks will write the end of this chapter of life as I begin my life with a new chapter as a Honours student.
..Fatigued yet still very much alive, jubilant yet bearing tones of nostalgic melancholy, I've come so far yet in such a short span of 3 years, wanting to celebrate it yet somehow wishing it'd go quietly...I know alot more than I did then, 3 yrs ago.. yet now there's still so much more to learn..
I'll finally earn my BSc. Not thru my own merit.. but to the One that has sustained me thru my whole lifetime as an undergraduate- To God be the Glory
I now stand on the brink, the advent of a new chapter, It'll be much tougher than this one.. but knowing how despite all odds I still survived.. surely I'll make it thru to the next stage.
Before I finish off this entry and head back to my books, I'll give this saying to any aspiring, troubled or weary undergraduate:
".. in a life where success isn't final and failure isnt fatal- more often than not, its the ability to carry on that counts.."
Postera Crescam Laude,
Kenneth Chin, BSc.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Mon 15th Oct
I don't know which better to blame- me for my infinitesimal stupidity for not checking the weather report, or Melbourne's erratic weather. Decided that it may cold but was too lazy to bring a sweater out. So, I wore 3 layers- 1 dri-fit tank top, 1 Tshirt and finally my black shirt over it. Complimented with jeans and THERMAL SOCKS- it may get cold and I'll get allergic reations.. well verily I'm cooking alive in them right now.. It'd be fine to take off my inner layers but what am I to do with my thermal socks? its a sweltering 27'c right now.. strangely it reminds me of weather back home.. except that I'd be pouring buckets of sweat.. tho somehow.. thats where I'd rather be right now.. be it any time of the day, any season.. well to say season in Sg is quite a misnomer in itself..
Anyway amist this whole academic quagmire of exams, I shall attempt to inject some humour into all.. by posting up the soccer pictures from the OCF match on the 6th Oct 2007.
Bing Posing for his new hit album- EMOtional BINGe: Eschew Obfuscation
Peiling, not to be outdone by Bing, Poses for her own album: Bubblecup Spam..
..Bing is stunned....
Yes everyone's worn out.. (they weren't supposed to be smiling)
Song Ai appaled at the initial assumption that Jon gestured to "read inbetween the lines"
She later realised that he meant "we got 3 goals" and attempted to display the same gesture.. albeit numerically inaccurate
WAH! PAI KIAH! SIAO LIAO LAH!!!
"Sai-ling" Beh, somewhat related to Wan Ling and Pei Ling; Sister of Wasabeh and Marina-Beh and cousin of eBeh.. (Chai, B.C 2007)
Oops.. eating bananas before the soccer match, not too good an idea...
Albert: "Don't cry Jon.. its ok.. I'll call your mom k?"
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Saturday, October 06, 2007
My First Scientific Paper
Thursday 4th October- The first submission of my very first Scientific paper to Current Radiopharmaceuticals.. This's just the label from the manuscript.. it should appear more pimped out in the Journal when it appears..This paper's a significant milestone in my becoming of a scientist.. publishing into a journal in my Undergraduate years- before I turn 21 has really been a dream come true. Finally for once, I represent some place with pride with something good.. and more than that, it represents the hope and encouragement that friends have given me..
And finally with much gratitude to my supervisor- Dr Tom Karagiannis who's been most inspiring and always, tho making me feel embarassed, lauding me with praises in front of Academic staff. In his vision I've found that dedication means alot more than intelligence- and being able to think beyond the textbook more important than mugging from it.
And most importantly to the One in heaven that provides for me... to Him be all Glory, Honour and Praise.. for this isn't the work of my hands.. but His..
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
HELP
ENFJ, ISFJ, ISFP or not, HELP! test coming up on monday + 2 reports due following and next CRAP! SHIT!
Well its that time of the month again.. NERD SQUAD! CHARGE!!!!
Well its that time of the month again.. NERD SQUAD! CHARGE!!!!
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