Just as I am

Just as I am, without one plea
But that thy blood was shed for me
And that thou bidd’st me come to thee
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am and waiting not
To rid my soul of one dark blot,
To thee, whose blood can cleanse each spot,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, though tossed about
With many a conflict, many a doubt,
Fightings and fears within, without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am,
thou wilt receive,
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;
Because thy promise I believe,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come

Still feeling the residual pinch of singlehood- I found some comfort in this song.. just as I am, whatever I am.. my God loved me so much to send His son Jesus to bleed on the cross for me..

Alas maybe singlehood is God's way of helping me serve others better.. to share whatever love within my heart with all others.. rather than focus it on one person... to be very frank, I don't really embrace it well.. often I feel its unfair- what have I done to deserve singlehood? I don't smoke, binge drink, curse+swear, behave rowdily.. The fact that over 5 years of being here, changing my dressing, my character, losing 20+kg does not affect my status shows one thing- this isn't within human hands.. yes God you've proven your point..

I must admit that it is disheartening in the sense that being in service to others is tiring.. times when I am compelled to act pre-emptively in order provide relief or aid for others, people don't really treasure effort.. thats alright.. my treasure is in heaven anyway.. but yet in my giving, I've always wished there was someone else to watch my back and support me.. someone whom I can talk to without having to resort to blogging to empty my mind...

I pray that one day, God will bless me with an angel.. and together, continue to serve God to the best of our synergistic abilities. Yes, I realise now.. I've given up with my human efforts.. and I surrender it to God.. God's will be done.. whatever my lot Thou has taught me to say "It is well, It is well with my soul". Still, I pray for patience and comfort for my heart to be still.. and teach me to rely on God's providence.. and how I can better serve others in response to God's love..

Just as I am.. my God loves me..