emo

I know I'm abit too old but.. I'm really eyeing these models!!!... but they'll probably be out of stock by the time I get back :( The 1st one (Navy Seal SOCOM) is probably out of stock.. it was limited edition..

Its been a long day for me and just alot of thoughts running thru my head.. the past few weeks has precipitated many thoughts in my head by which means that this entry's gonna be emo.. and I mean.. I guess serious in nature.. I know it isnt the usually entertaining entry but nonetheless I feel that it is imperative that I spend some time reflecting my innermost thoughts albeit abit cryptic.. you can also talk to me in person..

Another week's gone by which the tinge of melancholy like the drizzling rain.. I feel tired but its no excuse for me.. there're many others who're tired too.. and I am not entitled any exclusive rights to complain.. but I do.. damm my weakness.. A gift I realise also to be a weakness.. and once again.. the spectres of my past return to hunt me.. bidding me to yield..

I know it hurts... but sometimes doing the right thing requires biting the bullet.. I forsee somethings to happen.. in my minds eye a flow chart of possibilities.. but as in science.. some evidences strongly suggests some very apparent rammifications.. It hurts but.. I must do the right thing.. for my own sake, for the sake of others and for the sake of unity.. I know I should feel joy for others.. but with a tinge of sadness in the process... a bittersweet feeling.. but sorta like lindt 80% cocoa.. when the bitter is far more potent that the sweet.. but.. its necessary(figuratively speaking.. dark chox is very rich in anti-oxidants which protect from free-radical damage/oxidative stress)..

I guess its a learning process for me.. just another tutorial in learning how to shut out my emotions..emotions, thoughts, like autoimmune disease- your body's defence can turn against you and in turn destroy you.. I hope I can find comfort.. and continue my course of action regardless of what I feel... to give happiness to others.. and in that manner, find my on happiness.. instead of feeling sorry for myself..

I feel conflict in myself.. its difficult.. and sometimes painful in a sense.. but something tells me it is the right thing to do.. and I can't shake off that feeling.. tho its so hard to do.. or to watch some things happening right before your eyes.. but.. its the right thing to do.. and I must do it..

The name "Kenneth" is of Gaelic origin.. meaning "Gracious, manly" and perhaps I haven't lived up to my own name.. by being gracious to others.. perhaps thats where the damage is coming from..

Sigh.. I think I've said too much.. yet it feels like I've too much more to say.. I feel sorry for myself and I shouldn't be.. I just hope in time that I'll forget it..

I do apologise that this is a very emo-loaded entry.. its the feeling that I havent had enough emo fibre and the emo-constipation(emostipation?) is malignant.. I had to get it out of my system.. but yeah.. I'll call it a day.. I'm tired..

I'll do what is right.. because its right..